I share a home page on Twitter with a black rapper who tweets about every fifteen minutes and uses the N-word in about half of his tweets. It's an ugly word that makes my teeth ache, but I disagree with the professor (and with the rapper, too).
A week ago I saw THE KING'S SPEECH, nominated for a whole string of Academy Awards. It's a wonderful movie--a particularly wonderful movie for kids. But it has an R-rating, meaning that anyone under 17 must be accompanied by an adule. Why? Because it's got that "F-word," which of course is never uttered in the presence of tender young ears. (It's very funny in the way it's used, but there it is.)
Meanwhile, TRUE GRIT, which I also enjoyed because it uses language brilliantly, is littered with dead bodies, chopped-off fingers, and quarts of blood--I would call it fairly violent. It has a PG-13 rating. Go figure.
These are the kinds of things I think about as I write. Victoria was not allowed to associate with a whole passel of young cousins, children of a duke who was not properly married to their mother, because they were--in the word used in that time--bastards. Can I use that word in my novel? Or will readers--or their parents or teachers--become upset?